


I Cannot Sleep, I Cannot Dream Tonight

by actuallyronanlynch



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Canonical Arguing, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, M/M, Makeup Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-The Raven King, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:51:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7847599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyronanlynch/pseuds/actuallyronanlynch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title is, of course, from I Miss You by Blink-182. That song gives me so many feels.<br/>I haven't written porn in fucking ages, and I thoroughly enjoyed this, lol. Will definitely be writing more smut of these two.<br/>Also, thought I should note that I headcanon Adam as uncircumcised and Ronan as circumcised. What do you guys think?<br/>Anyway, thanks for reading! If you wanna fangirl with me over Pynch, hit me up on my <a href="http://actuallyronanlynch.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a>.</p></blockquote>





	I Cannot Sleep, I Cannot Dream Tonight

Ronan was fidgety, restless, and over exhausted. It was nearly 1am, and the words hurled during his fight with Adam still bounced around his head as he buried his face in his pillow:

_"You're running yourself dry," Ronan said, his eyebrows furrowing as Adam blinked heavily, trying to focus on the advanced functions textbook spread out in front of him. "When do you work tomorrow?"_

_"Not until three," Adam answered, turning the page in his book._

_"Do you have to keep studying? You're practically falling asleep."_

_Exasperatedly, Adam sighed. "Yeah, I have to. Midterms are coming up and I don't know how much I'll be able to study later with the shifts at the factory changing and stuff," he explained, and Ronan's frown deepened as he studied the slight bags under Adam's eyes. He was exhausted._

_Rolling onto his back, Ronan glared up at the ceiling instead. "Studying is boring."_

_"Well, sorry, some of us are still in school," Adam snapped, his attention still focussed on his textbook. Ronan bristled slightly, but lay still._

_"I'm just saying, you don't have to study_ all the time _. You've been practically half asleep every time we've seen each other this week."_

_"I have to keep my grades up with graduation in a few months, Ronan," Adam insisted, his shoulders tense as he leaned over the math book. "If I fuck around, my average will be too low to keep any scholarships at any good schools."_

_Something sour settled in the pit of Ronan's stomach, and he found himself scoffing and pushing himself up on the bed. "Sorry I've been here distracting you from such pressing work this whole time, then."_

_"Ronan, come on," Adam said, clearly not in the mood to deal with Ronan's sulkiness. "I actually have to give a shit about my schoolwork. I can't just flunk out,"_

_"I dropped out, I didn't_ flunk _out," Ronan retorted, folding his arms defensively over his chest._

_"Does it make that much of a difference right now? I can't mess around when I have to study for midterms."_

_"Fine," Ronan said, a tinge of a snarl in his voice. He knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't ignore the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. "If studying is so important, maybe I should just go."_

_"If you're just gonna be childish, maybe you should," Adam said, accent heavy on the word_ childish _. Ronan stood, already feeling fidgety and irate as he stormed across the apartment to the door. He slammed it behind him, wanting to throw something as he stomped down the stairs of St. Agnes._

The aftermath of fighting with Adam was never pleasant, but it somehow felt even worse after they had begun seeing each other.

He felt like a dick. He knew he had been out of line, but he couldn't help getting upset when Adam mentioned going away to college. He hadn't told Adam, but whenever he talked about leaving for school or applying to far away colleges, Ronan felt an anxious, queasy knot form in his stomach, and since he wasn't good at expressing his goddamn feelings like a normal person, it always quickly morphed into anger.

Sitting up in bed, Ronan irritably tossed his bedsheets off, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before searching his dresser for scrap paper. He found a pad of sticky notes and ripped one off, shooting Chainsaw a look as she rustled unhappily in her nest of blankets on his desk chair. "I'm going to see Parrish, relax," he snapped, and she squawked softly before settling back down. He grabbed a pen off his desk and scribbled a hasty message on the sticky note: _Opal, I'm going to see Adam, but I won't be home later than noon. Get yourself cereal for breakfast and you can watch TV until I get home._

After grabbing his keys, he quietly crept out of his room and stuck the note on Opal's door (formerly Declan's), knowing that TV and her favourite cereal would keep her occupied if he ended up staying the night at Adam's. She tended to wake up fairly late, anyway, which could only really be attributed to his own poor sleeping habits.

Making sure the front door was locked behind him as he shrugged on his jacket, he made his way to the BMW and started the engine, cooling off somewhat as he sank into the familiar leather seat of the car. He backed out of the gravel driveway, high beams illuminating the pitch-black road, and sped off towards Henrietta.

Normally, it took twenty-five minutes to get from Singer's Falls to Henrietta; Ronan made it to Adam's apartment in fifteen. He felt a pang of regret as he made his way back up the stairs he had torn down earlier, wondering if, maybe, he should have given Adam some space.

He knocked on the door slightly too hard, as he always did, and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he waited in the hallway. The air inside the small building was cool and chalky, and Ronan breathed in and out deeply, feeling restive and wired.

Ronan's eyes flicked up as Adam answered the door, standing in the threshold in pyjama pants and nothing else. Ronan swallowed, blue eyes meeting blue, and Adam stepped back to let him into the apartment.

"Hey," Adam said softly. He looked rumpled from sleep, his hair slightly dishevelled, but Ronan noticed how awake his eyes looked, and he knew Adam hadn't been sleeping, either.

"Hey," Ronan echoed, brushing a hand over the leather sleeve of his jacket. It was grounding, somehow.

"Can we talk?" Adam asked, and Ronan was simultaneously relieved and perturbed. He wasn't very good at talking things out. He nodded nevertheless, shucking his jacket and gracelessly kicking off his boots.

They sat down together on Adam's bed, both quiet and unsure of how to proceed. Adam was first to break the silence, sighing softly as he turned to face Ronan.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly, and Ronan frowned silently as he studied the other boy's face. "I was really stressed over midterms earlier and I was being an asshole. I shouldn't have told you to leave."

"I'm the one who brought it up in the first place," Ronan mumbled, swallowing and looking down into his lap. He hadn't expected Adam to apologise first, if at all. Ronan had been blaming himself entirely for the fight as he had lain sleepless in bed. Quietly, he added, "Sorry."

"I guess we were both just a little irritable tonight, huh?" Adam sighed, running a hand through his mussy hair.

"I didn't have a reason to be," Ronan noted, tugging violently at the leather straps on his wrist. "Not a good one, anyway." Adam carefully reached over and took Ronan's hand in his own, stopping him from pulling so aggressively on the straps, and laced their fingers together. Ronan visibly relaxed as he felt Adam's warm palm against his own.

"Has something been bothering you?" Adam asked, purposefully brushing his thumb over the backs of Ronan's knuckles. He was well aware that Ronan adored his hands.

Ronan was silent for a moment, chewing viciously on his bottom lip as he thought. "I guess just... All this talk of college and shit." Adam looked at him for further explanation, though he waited patiently and didn't press. He knew Ronan would rather express his feelings through actions, but sometimes words were necessary. "I dunno, I just... Keep thinkin' about how you'll be going away to college in a couple of months, and..." Ronan trailed off, sinking his teeth into his lip so hard that he was surprised that he didn't break the skin. He hesitantly looked up at Adam, whose expression had softened greatly.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," Adam mumbled, leaning forward to wrap his arms around Ronan's shoulders. Ronan splayed his hands over Adam's bare back, burying his face against the smaller boy's neck. "You know I'm coming back to you, right?" When Ronan didn't answer, Adam pulled back slightly so he could meet Ronan's eyes. "I'm serious," he said, a faint frown settling over his features.

"I know," Ronan said, swallowing the thick lump caught in his throat. He pulled Adam back to him, tenderly brushing their lips together. "I know."

Adam shifted so he could kiss Ronan properly, cupping the back of his neck as they leaned into one another. Ronan slowly began to unwind as Adam's fingers brushed the back of his neck and their lips moved together, tongues warm against one another, the sound of their breathing and the mattress shifting under them the only noise in the small apartment.

Slowly, Ronan lay back on the bed and Adam followed, leaning over Ronan as he kissed down the taller boy's throat. "I love you," he breathed against Ronan's skin, and the words sent a shudder down Ronan's spine. He didn't think he would ever grow tired of hearing Adam tell him he loved him.

"I love you too," Ronan choked out, swallowing a moan as Adam lightly sucked on his skin. "God, I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll visit you whenever I can," Adam assured him between deliberately well-placed kisses, his breath warm against Ronan's neck. "And you can always bring Opal with you to see me at school."

Ronan hummed quietly in agreement, too focussed on the feeling of Adam's tongue against his flesh to form a coherent reply. Adam grunted softly as his lips reached the collar of Ronan's shirt, and he sat back on his knees to give Ronan some room, his fingers on the hem of the other boy's shirt conveying his intention. Ronan sat up slightly, enough for Adam to tug his shirt over his head and toss it carelessly to the side. Ronan gently splayed his hands across Adam's tanned stomach, leaning forward to press his lips against Adam's smooth chest. Adam sighed contentedly as Ronan flicked his tongue lightly against a nipple, cupping the back of his head and placidly scratching the nape of his neck.

"Lie down?" Ronan requested in a low voice, and Adam nodded, immediately leaning back on the mattress. Ronan sprawled out between Adam's spread legs and began to leisurely tug down his pyjama pants. He smirked as Adam's half-hard cock sprang free, pleased by the lack of boxers under his pants.

Ronan wrapped his hand around the base of Adam's cock, unhurriedly beginning to stroke, and revelled in the tense exhale that it drew from Adam. Once he was fully hard, Ronan leaned down and gently brushed his lips over the head of his cock, smearing precum over his lips. He glanced up at Adam, lewdly licking the precum off his lips, and smirked as Adam let out a choked groan in response.

Huffing a quiet laugh, Ronan dipped down to properly take Adam into his mouth, letting his eyes flutter shut as he began to suck in earnest.

Ronan fucking  _loved_ sucking Adam off. It made him the most responsive out of anything they'd done together, and  _God_ , the noises that slipped past Adam's lips made Ronan's head spin and his dick throb. On cue, Adam let out a gorgeous moan as Ronan took him deeper, swallowing eagerly around his cock. He bobbed his head slowly, occasionally pulling off to flick his tongue over Adam's slit, because he knew it drove him wild.

"Fuck, Ronan, baby, stop, I'm gonna cum—" Adam gasped, and Ronan hesitantly pulled back, a string of saliva connecting his bottom lip to Adam's cock.

"You don't wanna finish?" Ronan teased, his voice hoarse from taking Adam's cock.

"Wanna fuck you," Adam retorted, which sent a spark of desire directly to Ronan's groin. He moaned deeply, nuzzling against the inside of Adam's thigh. "Is that a yes?" Adam laughed, amused.

"Fuck yeah," Ronan grinned, leaning up to roughly press his lips against Adam's. Adam licked into Ronan's mouth and pulled him forward into his lap, his hands easily finding the button on Ronan's jeans and moving to work them off. Once Ronan was stripped down to his boxers, Adam began to harshly palm his cock through the fabric, and Ronan broke apart from their kiss with a strangled gasp.

"Fuck, you're so hard," Adam murmured into Ronan's ear, causing a shiver to run through his body. "Want me to make you feel good, baby?"

Ronan nodded instantly, burying his face against Adam's shoulder as he slid a hand past the waistband of his boxers. "You're already so wet," Adam purred, brushing his thumb slowly over the head of Ronan's cock. He withdrew his hand briefly, spitting into his palm before starting to properly stroke Ronan.

"Christ, Adam," Ronan groaned, tossing his head back as Adam quickened his strokes. "Fuck."

"You want me inside you?" Adam murmured, leaning forward to nip at Ronan's neck as he squeezed his cock. Ronan gasped, nodding again fervently as he bucked into Adam's hand. "On your back, sweetheart," Adam said warmly, gingerly retracting his hand from Ronan's boxers as Ronan crawled off his lap and lay down on the mattress.

Ronan sighed in relief as Adam finally removed his boxers, his cock resting heavily against his stomach as he spread his legs for Adam. Adam quickly retrieved the bottle of lube that he kept beside his make-shift nightstand, smearing some over his fingers before brushing his index finger over Ronan's entrance.

"Come on, Parrish," Ronan growled, arching into the touch as Adam continued to tease him. Adam chuckled tantalisingly but complied, slowly pressing a finger inside Ronan. Ronan let out a strained breath, squeezing around Adam's finger intentionally, which incited a small moan from the other boy.

"You like feeling my fingers inside you?" Adam breathed, beginning to languidly pump his finger in and out of Ronan.

"Yeah," Ronan sighed, biting his lip as Adam crooked his finger admirably. "Fuck, babe."

Adam smiled at the pet name, moving to stroke Ronan's cock with his free hand. "God, you're gorgeous like this," he said as he began to insert a second finger. Ronan writhed accordingly, his lips parted in mute pleasure. "You're so pretty, blushin' and squirmin' for me." Adam's accent was more pronounced than usual, and it made Ronan groan low in his throat.

After Adam had worked in three fingers, Ronan reached forward and grabbed his wrist, drawing his attention away from finger-fucking him.

"'M ready," he said, and Adam nodded, carefully withdrawing his fingers. Ronan mourned the loss of sensation for a moment, watching as Adam grabbed a condom and quickly prepared himself. After Adam had applied a liberal amount of lube to his cock, he lined himself up with Ronan's entrance, and Ronan hooked his legs comfortably around Adam's hips.

Ronan inhaled sharply as Adam began to push inside, lifting his hips slightly to get a better angle. Adam stilled for a moment after he bottomed out, pressing gentle kisses to Ronan's temple and cheeks. "You're doing so well," he murmured, softly kissing Ronan's lips. Ronan hummed faintly against Adam's mouth, playfully biting his bottom lip as he slowly started to move his hips.

Ronan moved his hips in time with Adam as they set a rhythm together, and Adam gradually sped up his thrusts as Ronan grew accustom to the cock inside him. "You feel so good," Adam panted in his ear, his voice low and husky as he continued to move against him. "God, Ronan, you feel amazing,"

"You—  _ah_... You talk too much during sex," Ronan gasped in reply, though he had a small smile on his lips as he said it.

"As if you don't like it," Adam teased, ducking his head to nip and suck at Ronan's neck as he sped up his thrusts. Soon, his movements became quicker and more shallow as he neared his climax, and Ronan reached down to pump his own cock as he became close to finishing, as well.

"Harder, Adam," he managed, arching his back as Adam complied, and cried out softly as the other boy's cock brushed his prostate. "God, there, Adam, don't stop,"

"Ronan, f-fuck, babe, 'm gonna cum—" Adam warned, his hips stuttering as he came with a gasp, thrusting against Ronan as he rode out the waves of his orgasm. Ronan continued to furiously jerk himself off as Adam moved inside him, and a moment later, he finished as well, streaking his chest and stomach white.

The two breathed heavily as they recovered from their orgasms, Adam still hovering over Ronan on his elbows. Ronan reached up to tenderly brush Adam's hair out of his eyes, and Adam offered a tired smile before pulling out and collapsing on the mattress next to Ronan.

"Jesus Christ," Adam breathed, draping an arm over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. Ronan laughed lazily and reached over to grab a box of tissues, wiping himself off before flopping back down on the bed. Adam reluctantly removed the condom and tossed it into the trash before lying down next to Ronan, curling against him with an arm draped across his torso.

"Sorry about the stupid fight earlier," Ronan murmured, turning to nuzzle his face into Adam's hair. Adam gently brushed his fingers across Ronan's side, producing goosebumps wherever his fingers traced.

"It's okay," he replied, leaning up to kiss the taller boy. "I get how you feel. But I'll come back for you, okay?"

Ronan nodded, wrapping his arms around Adam and pulling him close, and they fell asleep to the soft sound of each other's breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is, of course, from I Miss You by Blink-182. That song gives me so many feels.  
> I haven't written porn in fucking ages, and I thoroughly enjoyed this, lol. Will definitely be writing more smut of these two.  
> Also, thought I should note that I headcanon Adam as uncircumcised and Ronan as circumcised. What do you guys think?  
> Anyway, thanks for reading! If you wanna fangirl with me over Pynch, hit me up on my [Tumblr](http://actuallyronanlynch.tumblr.com/).


End file.
